An emotional day, tonight is the last support group. I don’t know what to do after tonight. Who will understand what I’m going through? Who will I share Payton with? No one seems to remember we lost her two months ago. No one seems to care about her. People either don’t care or don’t say anything for fear I will cry. So what if I cry? Crying is what I do these days. Only group members understand. Only group members are normal. What am I going to do after tonight?
On the way to group I saw this pure white cloud in the sky among the colorful setting sun. The cloud resembled the profile of a baby sleeping on her back. The forehead, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, neck, stomach, and legs were outlined. The cloud lasted only seconds before disintegrating in the sky. Nevertheless, in those few seconds with tears streaming down my face, I felt peace. It was as if Payton was telling me “mommy don’t worry I’m fine and you will be too”.
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