As a therapist I often receive fliers announcing upcoming training opportunities. Recently (and for the first time ever) I received a flyer for a pregnancy and infant loss conference. There are many co-workers and associates I feel need to be aware of the conference and a few I feel need to attend. Therefore I forwarded the flyer on. I'm not surprised but disappointed by the lack of response. The person who should absolutely attend replied she would pass along the flyer. Don't get me wrong that is great. The more people who know about the conference the better, but she dismissed herself attending even thought she works with pregnant women and wasn't the most compassionate after I lost Payton. Again I'm not surprised but disappointed.
On a side note. My old perinatologist is speaking at the conference on physician and relationship based care. I find this ironic as he was the one who didn't notice signs of concern during my pregnancy with Payton (i.e: first child was low birth weight, my low weight gain, and Payton's small size). He was also the one more concerned about covering his own bum than giving us answers after her death. Not exactly what I would consider relationship based care.
Today I registered for Walk to Remember. Sadly look forward to remembering our babies with other bereaved parents. Yet, I'm a little hesitant. I understand people cope in the best way they are able. Still, I have a hard time being around smug pregnant women or smug new parents. I don't know how to describe the difference between smug vs. happy, but there is a difference! Maybe I'm overly sensitive but WTR is not the time to show off your pregnant belly or infant. It is a time to remember and honor the baby you didn't get to keep. There are a few people I'm dreading seeing.
