"Doctor Fix"

My office had a snow day. No work, wahoo! I kept Tatum home with me. We had a wonderful day playing inside and out in the snow. Late in the afternoon, I took a few minutes to unload the dishwasher. I wasn’t paying attention; it’s the dishes a mindless task, right? I grabbed two glasses and turned to put them in the cabinet. I felt a pinch. I looked down to see blood covered the counter. I snatched a paper towel, wrapped it around my thumb, and waited for the bleeding to stop. After a few minutes, I looked at my thumb and instantly knew it wasn’t good. I grabbed Tatum, her diaper bag, her shoes, and my bag. Immediately after buckling Tatum into her seat I hear, “mommy me poopoo”. Great! I told her I’d change her after we saw the doctor. For the rest of the drive she repeatedly said, “doctor first then change poopo”, "doctor first then eat fries”, and “doctor first then eat cake”.

When I realized we weren’t going to be home in time for dinner I called Dustin. It was a difficult call for me to make. It was a difficult call for Dustin to receive. The last time I called Dustin from a doctors’ office was the day we learned Payton was no longer alive, exactly nine weeks ago today. Dustin came right over and took Tatum out of the room while I got stitches. We were both thinking of that day on the drive home. Thankfully, Tatum was there to distract. The entire way home she repeated, “mommy ouie, doctor fix”. I wish doctors could have fixed Payton. I wish doctors could fix our broken hearts.